|Posted by Cassi J Reed on June 7, 2012 at 9:00 AM|
Today would have been my older son, Shane's birthday. He would have been 23 years old. I often wonder what he'd be doing had he not had the heart trouble or even just that darned stroke. He was my studious one, and I believe he may have taken college courses online.
I always told him he'd make a great lawyer. He sure could argue a point. Maybe he'd have gone with something in the gaming industry. I know he could have done a lot, considering the aid of computers.
We always talked, him and I, even his brother Patrick about what they wanted to do. None of us were under the impression that they'd live to old age, but we did hope they would live past 20. Shane just made 20 when he passed.
I look back on their lives and think that despite the devastating disease that made their lives a bit more difficult than for those that could get out of bed and dress themselves, that these boys had a happy life. We tried to give them everything they ever needed and made a huge effort to give them what they wanted. I know some people might say that's spoiling them. Well, yes, if they were capable young men able to get out and work, or got out with friends, or even just hop out of bed on their own, yes, then they'd be spoiled. What we gave them, we gave them because we wanted them to enjoy it while they were here.
When I look at some young people today, I with they might have known Shane and Patrick, seen what they went through to do what they needed to do. Some of them might not whine so much about not having their own car, or having to get a job, or better yet, whine because they are now stuck with a child of their own because they just couldn't wait or use protection. I won't go there too much.
There are days I sit and wonder what would it be like if the boys hadn't had the Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy at all. My gosh, how life would have been different.
I can see Shane leaving to go off to college...for what study, who knows. Game design, I bet. He loved games. All aspects of them. He was always my studious, serious boy, and a little selfish. He didn't like to share, but that's ok. Bet there are a few of us out here who don't like to share either. Shane was so quiet, he was hard to figure out at times.
Patrick, now Patrick, I'm sure would have been a military guy the minute he was old enough, or maybe he'd have come home asking us to sign for him. I'd have had no problem doing that. He was my toughy. I don't have time here to write down all the pain he went through in the short years of his life. I don't mean headache pain, or scraped knee stuff, I mean strong, horrible pain. At some point, the pain became so severe we couldn't move him to get him out of bed or roll him. It hurt him to be cleaned up. He dealt with the pain like a trooper. I think he'd have made a great Navy SEAL. He could have taken whatever they dished out and then some.
Anyway, that's what's on my mind today...and every other day.
I love you, Shane. Happy Birthday, Buddy!